The last two days have been really rough for me. I have not worked out for the pass two days. There are two main reasons for that, the first is that I have been extremely tired. The second is I have been kind of depressed. I am trying to stay positive and committed but I feel so overwhelmed right now and what sucks is that I don't know what exactly is causing it. Actually I do know it is a series of things that is stressing me out and depression is my ill way of dealing with stress. (Yea I do not handle stress well.) When I am stressed I just want to shut down and escape from the rest of the world. It is annoying that the persons who are closest to me don't understand what I am going through. It makes me feel lonely because I feel like there is no one I can turn too that can be there for me and help comfort me when I am down. I don't want someone to make me feel guilty because I spent money that I don't have to buy something that I know is counteractive to my weight loss journey. Yes I know I agreed not to eat chocolate or ice cream but at that moment I needed something that would make me forget for a minute that I have issues that I need to deal with and I have to get in shape. I just wanted to feel "normal" for a minute. I wanted to feel free to restrictions and boundaries. I think I need to get my thyroid levels checked because my mind is telling me that things are a lot worse than they actually are... Coupled with the lack of sleep I am a wreck right now. For some reason blogging how I feel is making me feel better... I feel bi polar now. Regardless of how I am feeling at the moment, I am not about to let depression take control of me. I am committed to being happy and staying positive. I am going to take everything one day at a time.