Thursday, July 21, 2011

Where am I????

Hey Folks,

The title is for myself not you I have no idea where I am in my journey. I have no idea what I want to do or what I want to accomplish as far as where I want my body to be. I have gotten so complacent with my current weight that I feel stuck and I lack ambition, desire and commitment. I have been trying since I came back from my honeymoon to develop a workout regimen but it is almost four weeks later I am still trying. Everything that I have done in the past to motivate myself isn't working. I started writing my goals on paper, I tried marking the time off on the calender , I have tried putting on my workout clothes and no matter how I try to think positively a major part of me isn't interested. So I find myself constantly putting off trying to lose weight. This is a constant battle for me right now. I have come to the conclusion that for right now I am not committed/ready to actively lose more weight right now. I keep hoping that tomorrow I would feel differently.

All that being said, I am about to switch topics right quick... I am going to Holland for four weeks and I leave next week Wednesday. I know for sure I won't be able to do any workout dvds while I am there because where my husband lives the floors are paper thin and walking echos so jumping around and doing anything that is extra noisy is a no no. However, I do intend to go for walks in the neighbourhood. So walking will be my form of exercise there. Additionally, my husband (still getting used to that word) and I plan to visit amusement parks so we will get in a lot of activities. That being said, I have a history of gaining weight when I am in Holland as much as 10lbs. I don't know if it is the weather or what but I don't realize that I have gained a considerable amount of weight until I get home to Nassau.  I remember the last time I came home from Holland, the second thought that came to my mind after damn its hot was damn I feel HUGE!. Seriously, I felt rolls and loaves in places I didn't know that they existed. I do not plan on doing that this time around.

The habits that I have had in my past visits to Holland that has caused me to gain so much weight  is attributed to my lack of exercise/activity and my constant snacking. I eat a whole lot of chips and cookies, MacDonalds and chocolate when I am there, especially since I am not a fan of bland dutch food. The plus side is I will be making my own meals so I can make food to my own taste rather than eating food made by my mother in law. I have a question though, I don't know if I should challenge myself to avoiding unhealthy snacks while I am there or if I should just limit the amount of times I snack on junk food. Let me know what you think please. 

Finally, can I get some advice on how I can get outta my rut please? I really want to get back into the swing of things. As far as my weight is concerned right now I weigh exactly 190lbs. When I came back from my honeymoon I was 188lbs. My highest weight this month was 192lbs and my lowest weight this year was 180.2lbs and my highest weight ever was around 220lbs.