Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Reader Interaction # 2: The Verdict

Hey Everyone :D

I want to thank you all for the comments that you left. They were all really valid points and I agree with all of you. I think for the most part we would probably all want to lose a huge amount of weight at one time but we also know that when it comes of slower you have a better chance of developing life long habits that will help you keep the weight off. There is also a great chance that you can keep the weight off if you lose it slow and steady.. 

There are moments when I wish I could lose ten pounds in a week. Heck, no one would be able to talk to me. I would feel like a celebrity! Darks shades and all, don't look me in the eyes when you are talking to But hey it is what it is. The most important thing is that eventually you get where you want to be. 

Which brings me to my last point. Once you reach your goal it doesn't matter how long it took you to get there. It doesn't matter that it took you 6 years to lose 10lbs. All that matters is that you did it and you can be proud of your hard work. This is my opinion on the topic. Of course there are no wrong or right answers as far as opinions are concerned. 

Next Week's Question:

What motivates you to lose weight? What keeps you going? 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Voice in my Head....

.... wants me to fail.

There is this voice in my head that is quite annoying yet I do everything it says. Everyday it tells me that tomorrow is another day.. a better day... a day that I have to be more committed to the cause. Right now the cause refers to my efforts to lose weight but really it doesn't matter what the cause is at the moment this is how that part of my mind likes doing things. Wait until tomorrow... 

---- Yeah So there will be more posts tomorrow... I will lose weight tomorrow... I will exercise tomorrow... I will eat better tomorrow... I will do what I have to do.... you guessed it tomorrow. 
Then that would be one more thing that I did not accomplish...

Monday, April 18, 2011

Love of Eating versus Fear of Eating.... The Verdict!

I want to thank every who commented on my last post. It seems that all of you agreed that a fear of eating was worse. I am still on the fence when it comes to deciding which is worse. I have personally experienced them both. In my case they were both brought on by anxiety. My love of eating came about when I first started gaining weight. I was afraid to try and lose weight because I didn't like the idea of failing at it. So I kind of figured that since I was gaining weight anyway I might as well do it on my terms. I decided to do it "the fun way" and I eat everything in sight. If I wanted ice cream I ate ice cream, and if I wanted to eat pizza in the middle of the night I did so. There was no restrictions as far as my love of food was concerned.   However, it wasn't fun and I found that eventually I became depressed and I realized that even though I wasn't happy with the way that I looked, I found it hard to end my relationship with food. Food became the enemy because it was the reason why I looked the way I did (do) and even though I loved it it didn't necessarily love me back. 

My fear of eating returned when I started to lose weight (The first time was when I was in high school but that is a different story). I became so desperate to lose weight and so desperate to keep it off that food was once again the enemy. Every bite that I took reminded me that I could gain back all the weight that I was so desperate to lose. My fear of eating however made me more conscious of what I was eating, how often I was eating and how much calories were that food. I spent hours just sitting there ignoring the hunger and being happy with myself that I had not given into temptation. I was anxious that eating even the smallest amount of food would make me instantly gain like 20lbs. 

Based on my experience (and everyone is different) I think that a fear of eating and a love of food are one and the same (on an emotional level anyways) because I think in most cases one is triggered by the other. They both stem from an unhealthy relationship with food... This is why I am still on the fence about it. I think overall they both are very destructive and they both sometimes require some kind of intervention in order to overcome them.... But of course this is my opinion and with everything in life there are no wrong or right answers when dealing with emotions... One size doesn't fit all. 

This week's question: Do you honestly believe that it is best to lose the weight slowly? Or is it something you tell yourself so that you aren't disappointed if you can't lose more than 1-2lbs a week? Again I will answer this question on Monday but I look forward to reading your responses :D

End of 90 Days to Better Fitness.

Hey Bloggers, Readers and Everyone in between :D

 What is up? This is post is long and overdue. I have been a little busy and I am dealing with a lot of stress right now. So I have been buried away from blogging and I have posted comments on a few of your pages because I have read some post but for the most part I have not been been thinking about losing weight. I apologize and I do expect to be more active. I would like to welcome my new followers. I am happy you found something interesting on here that made you want to read it. So Welcome and Thank YOU! 

For those of you who are new or didn't know, I did a 90day fitness challenge. Honestly I don't remember what my goals were, I know I didn't have a certain number that I wanted to be at. But for the most part I wanted to not have any knee pains and I am pretty sure I wanted to be under 200lbs. (Everything that comes after this is what I wrote on the day of the end of the challenge which was April 11th)

Beginning Stats:

Weight 205lbs

Bust: 43"
R. Arm: 14"
L. Arm: 14"
Waist: 38"
Hips: 41.5"
L. Thigh: 25.5"
R. Thigh: 25"

Current Stats: 

Weight 188lbs (I am still at 188lbs I have managed to maintain this for three weeks with no exercise. My lowest this month however was 185.something)

Bust: 44" (Blaming this on the bc pills)
Right Arm: 13 inches
Left Arm: 13 inches
Waist; 35.5 inches
Hips: 39 inches (sucks:( I have no booty as it is)
L. Thigh: 24 inches
R. Thigh 24.5inches

If my math is correct I lost a total of 10inches and I maintained a loss of 17lbs.

When I started this challenge, my focus was primarily on getting fit. It had very little to do with weight loss. I wanted to be able to exercise without having any pain in my  knees, I wanted to gain more stamina and I just wanted to be overall more healthy. I think  that the first month was my best month. I exercised everyday for hours at a time and I felt great. But as time went on I had to push myself to even do the bear minimum. In the last 11 days I have only exercised maybe 3 days which I am quite disappointed with because I had plans to go hard for my last 11 days. 

Was the challenge successful?

  • Definitely, I have accomplished my main goal which was to get rid of the pain in my right knee.
  • I was able to maintain a loss of 17lbs 
  • I have not been over 200lbs since I went under it. That was about a month an a half ago. (Please don't quote me exactly though I have issues with keeping up with time. )
  • I can do push ups now, before I couldn't do one now I can do about 5 or 6? 
  • I can fit into most of my old jeans. I have had to retire jeans because they are too big. Ladies as word of advice if your jeans are getting really baggy and you have jeans that are better fitting or slightly tight but still able to be worn, STOP WEARING THE BAGGY JEANS! If you wear jeans that are too baggy and you start to regain weight you are less likely to do something about it quickly because your jeans "still fit well". If you wear jeans that are fitted or slightly tight and you start to gain weight you know sooner that you have to do something about it soon else you would have to walk around bare booty. The jeans I wear currently are so tight I can hardly raise my But hey in a few weeks they will be too big and I will be switching to smaller pants! 

Would I do it again?

This is kind of a weird question. I do plan to stay healthy and active and workout everyday, however as far as challenges go I think I would just stick to 30days. That way I can get it done as soon as possible and if I have to I can reevaluate my goals (which I know I can do regardless) but the novelty of the challenge wears out for me pretty quickly. I can keep it fresh is I challenge myself in smaller increments. 

Do I have any regrets:

Of course. But they were all learning experiences. I feel like I now how an idea of what works for me right now. 

One of the most remarkable thing for me is that I weigh less than 200lbs. It has been about 3 years since I weighed under 200lbs. and maybe 4 years since I weighed under 190lbs. I am so excited about what the future will bring. My confidence in this journey has doubled and I know without a doubt I will not be gaining this weight back because of my eating problems. Now, I can't say if meds will cause me to regain weight but I know for sure I won't let overeating be the cause of it. (Oh Lord I pray I don't eat these words.)  I have come way too far to go back. 

What are my plans moving forward?

  • I am currently working on getting junk foods and overly processed foods out of diet. 
  • I am working on increasing the amount of fibre that I eat.
  • I have 1 jeans that I have to get into I think that will be possible after I lose another 15lbs
  • I see myself weighing 165lbs by 11 June. (Affirmative thinking, I believe that if I truly believe something it will come to pass. I have proved this to be true in various areas of my life. If there is even a tad bit of doubt in my thoughts I believe that holds me back. It may be an irrational fear but it doesn't harm me to think this way)

This is what 17lbs loss look like on me... Ummmmmmmmmmm yea... If you can see a difference please let me know because they could be the same picture if you ask Oh I did take this picture today (April 18th) I have another picture that I took on the 11th but it wasn't in same clothes so that's why I didn't use that one.


                                                             Somewhere Before                   Sometime After

Again Thanks for Reading :D Until Next Time!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Reader Interaction Question One!

Hey Everyone! Happy Monday:D

Lately I have been struggling with coming up with things to talk about on my blog because I have fallen into a regimen/ routine that seems to be working for me and so I have nothing new to blog about. Pretty much my days are all the same. I eat small meals whenever I start to get hungry, I exercise for at least an hour everyday (with the exception of last week because I was sick) I go to sleep, I get up and then I do it all again the next day.

I am no longer so focused on what I am eating and what workouts I am doing. I just enjoy life and I live as stress free as I can and that seems to be working for me. With all that said, I thought from time to time I will post questions that come to my mind so I can get some feedback from you and that way we can sort of have discussions and stuff if you may. Also, gives me something to post on my blog because I really do enjoy blogging. 

Therefore the first question to start this off is..... (drum rolls)

In your opinion, which one of the following do you think is worse and why? A fear of eating or a love of eating?

I already have my opinion on this topic and I think a lot of us probably feel the same way but I am curious what you think. Next week Monday I will make a post on what I think about this topic. I look forward to reading what you think. I will be posting my final progress for my 90day Fitness Challenge which ends today either tomorrow morning or late this afternoon so until then! 

Thanks for reading :D

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Checking In

Hey Folks!

What's up? I hope that everyone is having a good week, seeing results, living happy and is stress free!

 I am sick :( Last week I had such high hopes for how much exercising I was going to do this week because it was my last 11 days of my fitness "Challenge" and I got sick:(  Honestly, I think my body is telling me heck no we don't like your plans! So, I got sabotaged by my own body! Go FIGURE!  Right now I feel fine enough, I do have a persistent cough, I haven't taken anything for it which is probably why it is still hanging around. I have tried a few times to exercise but I just start coughing or I get light headed so I had to give up on that idea. Therefore, I am working on getting my health in order, I am taking it easy and just relaxing. 

Because I am sick, I have lost my appetite so I pretty much just eat one meal a day which is usually lunch, and I have one fruit usually an orange or banana for dinner and breakfast. Last night I ate some ice cream because I had hoped it would help to ease my sore throat. (I hope you believed that lie because I don' Honestly, I thought I deserved some ice cream! (Isn't it interesting that we think of food as being a reward rather than just substance that we need to live?)

On a good note I am back to 191.2! Yaaaay me! I am excited about where I am headed. I hope I don't gain the weight back!(Positive thinking I will keep the weight off) My 7day break from the bc pills ended yesterday :(  I am terrified that the cravings and the mood swings will come back. I am just going to have to be strong and fight it. I talked to my doctor about changing it and he told me to give it 3 months. I kind of expected him to say that. He is a man he doesn't understand what troubles we women face. Nevertheless, I am going to be a sport about it. I am going to give it 2 more months and if I still don't like it, I am going to find someone else who will give me a new prescription. 

That's pretty much all I wanted to talk about in this post. Again thanks for reading! 

Friday, April 1, 2011

I want your body!

... But am I willing to do what it takes to get it (or something close to it anyways)?

I was looking at a picture of a woman the other day and I said to myself wow I want your body! Almost instantly another thought came to my mind which was are you willing to do what it takes to get it? Then I thought for a minute about what it would take to get her body. Then I thought about it long and hard I would have to work. Then I asked myself again, am I willing to do what it takes to get my body to look like that (if it was possible of course)? Honestly, I have yet to come up with a real answer to that question. The truth is I have a good idea of what works for me, however the fact that I am still on a roller coaster ride as far as my weight is concerned proves that I am not willing to do whatever it takes to get my body where I want it to be. While it is valid to blame, Tom or meds on my fluctuations the truth of the matter is I don't always do what needs to be done. I still eat junk food because I feel like it. Watching food commercials on tv make me hungry but I still watch a lot of television. The only thing I think I have really stuck with is limiting how much ice cream I eat. I have not had ice cream for a month and I used to eat it every week  Nevertheless, I am a work in progress. It may take me a while but I am working on it. Here in lies my dilemma, I may not always do what it takes to get my body where I want it to be but do do it sometimes. Additionally, I am doing less of what I did to get my body to look how it looked when I first realised that I needed to do something about it (if you could follow that). Like I said, I am a work in

Something I just realised today is that I only have 11 days left in my 90 day fitness challenge. I cant believe 79 days have passed since I started this challenge. I have had some ups and some downs. February was definitely my best month in terms of exercising and March was my best month in terms of weigh loss. Yesterday when I went on the scale I was back down to 194.6 which I thought was interesting because the day before that I was at 198. All of which convinced me that the scale is corrupt and shouldn't be taken seriously. Even though I know its a bad idea I still judge my success on the number the scale says. This is insanity at it's best. 

Thanks for reading! Happy April's Fools, please don't fall for any pranks today! Especially not from your scales. Enjoy your weekend.