I am happy

After suffering from depression for at least half my years on this earth, it feels good to finally be HAPPY. I woke up this morning and I am filled with so much joy that I can honestly say that I am HAPPY. I have a great relationship with my husband, I have a good relationship with my family but best of all I have a great relationship with myself. Of course there are things that I want to change about myself mainly my weight but for now I am very content with being HAPPY. I just wanted to share... 

For those of you that are sad and feeling depressed, know that you won't feel like that forever, find someone to talk to that will LISTEN to you. For those of you that knows someone that is suffering from depression just LISTEN to them and support them with your love and presence. You don't have to know what to say to them to make them feel better. Chances are they wont believe anything positive that you are saying. If all else fails get professional help.

Until my next post. 

Be blessed and happy

Summer is almost over :( Updates

Ever worked out for an hour and then looked in the mirror afterwards to see if you lost any 20lbs? Please tell me I am not the only one that does that. 

Hey Everyone!

I really thought that I would be more active on here this summer but life actually laziness got in the way and I neglected to update my blog. Nevertheless, I hope that you all are enjoying the summer. I have surely been enjoying mine because I can just feel that I gained about 10lbs. As far as my actual weight is concerned I have no idea how much I currently weigh but I am guessing its anywhere between 187 and 195. That's just based on what I see in the mirror. I am praying that I am not over 195lbs.  I am thinking about buying a scale but I am afraid that if I see 200lbs or even 190lbs on the scale I will give up again.

Therefore, for now I am just blissfully ignorant and just focusing on getting fit. I will probably wait until I get back home next weekend to weigh myself and hopefully by then the number that I see on the scale will not look so scary. I know that the scale should not be my only focus on this journey however  I am motivated to eat right and exercise when I see the number on the scale go down. I have finally made up my mind that my goal weight is 130lbs and I AM going to be at the weight by March of next year. My goal for the end of this year is to be at 150lbs. I know I can do it I just have to put in the work and make certain sacrifices. I keep promising to post some updated pictures I will do that tomorrow morning and I will also post my goals for next week. 

Thanks for reading

Talk to you in another post.

Short some what of an update...

Just wanted to leave a message to say that I am still alive and I haven't fallen off the planet. Right now I am on vacation from school and I haven't really been doing much in terms of staying on my weight loss/ fitness journey. I am staying my with mother and she loves to cook and  she always have drinks in the house and so its hard for me to fight temptation. So I have been drinking and eating everything in sight.

 I swear I gained like 10lbs in the 2 weeks that I have been here so I probably weight around 188lbs I do not have a scale so it could be more.  When I left home I was about 178lbs. Yesterday I started working out again in order to curve whatever damage I am doing to myself. I kinda put my foot in my mouth and I told my workout partners that when we returned from vacation that I would be the same size I was when I left if not smaller so yea if I go back heavier cause I wouldn't hear the end of it so I have to get this weight back off before I go home. I plan to leave on the 20th of next month. Therefore I cannot go back home fat. It is not happening.

 I will try to post some updated pictures and just discuss more of what is going on with me next week. Right now I am trying to work out a work out schedule that I can stick with.

Until next time

My blogging has been scarce because I do not really have anything to blog about. My days come and they go and I try my best to lower the number on the scale. Yes I am still at the point where I am weighing myself everyday and hoping that I see a change in the number that appears in the scale. This post is going to be quite random because I just came just to post something.

I am down to 187lbs but I feel bloated today so even though technically I am thinner I do not feel thinner. I am starting to notice cellulite on my legs. I dread them so much because when I was 200+ lbs I didnt have them so I try not to look down at my legs too often. I have to do some research to see what I can do to combat them.

I have been really diligent with walking. I like walking because I do not feel as though I am exercising, i5 doesnt make me sore and I do not dread it. I am thinking about starting T25 again but whenever I start the dvd my mood goes down. I think that I will probably end up doing Body Revolution by Jillian Michaels because at least her workouts incorporate weights.  I dont want to think negatively about working out.  Until I make up my mind I will just continue walking. Oh I do jump rope in the afternoon as well.


School will be closing soon. Then summer is fast approaching and  I wont be able to walk as much because of the bugs so I will have  to figure out a home workout program asap.

Anyways I am going to cut this short. I think I have rambled long enough...lol

Hope everyone is having a great week. It is FRIDAY tomorrow . I am sooooooooooo excited because I only have two teaching periods. I love my job but the kids make me weary sometimes. If I do not post again before the weekend enjoy your weekend and have a fit week.

Current picture and week filled with temptation.

current Taken 10  May 2014

My husband is not here and so I had to took my picture in the mirror. please excuse my bed.  But this is a current picture of me. I am so proud of the hard work that I have done. In the picture I am 189lbs . I am looking forward to losing another 30lb by the end of the year. Honestly though I am trying to lose another 30lbs by august. That is when I go shopping for clothes for school.

This week I ate horribly(thanks to PMS) and because of the weather I only walked three days  out of the usual five days. I am going to make up for it next week though by going walking for 2hours next week instead of my usual 1.5hours. This weekend I want to do a couple of workout dvds maybe some Turbo fire or some t25 workouts just to do something different.

Losing weight is hard but I am not giving up this time. Regardless of how many times I stumble I intend to brush myself off , suck it up and do what I have to do. 

Beginning of 2014

Weight loss and Emotions.

I remember when I weighed 220lbs for the second time. I was devastated that I had allowed myself to regain the weight. However, I was still content with things because I allowed myself to slip into denial. I avoided the scale and I wore clothes that were comfortable or a little bigger because for some reason it made me feel not so big. Then after my 7 year old nephew asked me why I was fat something clicked in my brain that told me that it was time for a change. 

As a result I decided that I was going to try to lose weight again. I imagined how happy I would be to be under 200lbs again. Then I imagined what it would be like to be in the 190s and then the 180s. Today I weigh 189lbs and I am not at all excited about what I have accomplished. Well, that is not exactly true. I am happy that I am finally committing to losing weight again. But the joy that I excepted to feel doesn't live up to how I actually feel.Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it to have to deal with so much emotions. It seems so unavoidable. I think that everyone who goes on a weight loss journey or A lifestyle change has moments where their emotions take over and they struggle. Sometimes I feel bipolar. Because tomorrow actually be excited that summer is coming and I may get to wear a bikini...lol

Anyways, My short term goal is 175lbs. I chose 175lbs because its the lowest I got to before I started to slip up again. My ultimate goal weight has yet to be determined but I think that it will range anywhere between 130 - 150lbs. I am going to weigh 150 by the end of August. I am putting it out in the atmosphere...lol

Coworkers and Weight loss

I am a bad blogger I know! However, since I started teaching my desire to do any thinking outside of school hours has become none existent and I struggle with posting because it requires thought and focus and that I something that my darling demons angels take away from me. I hope that makes sense. 

Recently.  I was told by a co worker that I shouldn't lose any more weight. If you havent guest it already I lost some weight ....lol About 30lbs, I did it by cutting back on overeating and walking five days a week. I will post pictures in my another post. This post is about my coworker. 

On Friday I went to work and I was about to sign in and the cleaning lady (who is extremely overweight) came to me and was like please don't lose any more weight. Then she smiled and walked off.  All I could think was seriously? Yes I know that I have lost a considerable amount of weight to them but I am in no way shape or form thin or close to being too thin. I weigh 190lbs and I am 5feet 4.5 inches. I can stand to lose another 50lbs with ease. 

Why is it that persons are always trying to tell others that they have lost enough weight? I wouldn't go to her and tell her that she should start losing weight. The lady is like 300lbs easy. I wouldn't comment about her weight period. If she is happy at the weight that she is at, more power to her, I respect that. But dont tell me how much I should weigh

This has always been the part that I hated about losing weight. I always hated when someone noticed that I had lost weight and pointed it out to me. I would rather my transformation be invisible to others so I wouldnt have to listen to their comments. Having someone tell me that I lost weight annoys me just as much as someone telling me that I gained weight. When did it become ok to talk to someone about their weight. Are you my doctor? I am sorry but I had to go on that lil rant...lol 

Do you think that I am overreacting though? How do you deal with similar situations?

Talk to you in my next post hopefully it wont be months from now. ...lol

Off the wagon for a min...

But getting back on with a vengeance. Two weeks ago tom disrupted my flow and I got really sick this time around and I was throwing up for over an hour then my chest and my head were hurting because of it so I stopped working out. Then when tom was over I had this mad craving for everything sugary so I was eating everything in sight that was sweet. Even things that I normally would not eat. 

My mind and my future body was like are you sure you want to do this? And I was like F U and I am my own person so fo sho! Luckily though the cravings have finally diminished and my desire to workout has returned so I am going to push myself extra hard today and I will be doing 2 hours of exercise today and I plan on getting back on the wagon and keeping this moving. It doesn't matter how much I fall off this year my goal is to get back up and start over.

With that being said my January challenge was a slight fail. Any weight that I may have lost I am certain that I probably gained it back. I will be taking pictures tomorrow morning before I go to work so that I am post it on here as my new current/before pictures. Once I have posted this I will weigh myself on my wii fit so that I can track my weight loss this week. I will start weighing in every Sunday morning. at least for the month of February.

I hope that everyone else is doing better than I did.

Happy fit2014 Until next time

Weekly Check in

Hey Whats up Doc????

Its been 15 days since I have started working out again and it has definitely been a journey. I know that its only been 15 days but the mental struggles that I go through while working out or rather while trying to lose some weight is always overwhelming.

I think that for me the most overwhelming part of trying to lose weight is understanding that I will not instantly see changes in my body. It is going to take more than 15days for me to see a noticeable change in the way my clothes are fitting or even to feel differently physically. I am talking about this because I took some pictures of myself today sort of like a mid month picture and now I feel so embarrassed by the way I looked that a HUGE part of me just wanted to say eff it and give up. Luckily the sane part of my brain reminded me that change doesn't happen overnight. I have to be patient, I have to be diligent and I have to work hard.  I have to stay focused and keep my eyes on my goals and what I want to accomplish.

Workouts I worked out everyday this week. I am getting older so yea I have no idea what I did on what days but I did work out everyday this week for at least 30mins. I am still doing Jillian Michaels Body Revolutions workouts. I have started workouts 3 and 4. I did four t25 workouts this week. 2 cardio one ab focus and 1 lower focus and I did turbo fire fire 30 yesterday evening. Next week I will try to write down exactly what workouts I did. Before this post I did JMBR workout 4. Later today I want to do Hitt 15 from Turbo Fire and maybe I will do some kinda stretch workout mostly the one from Focus T25. Because my body feels a bit stiff.

That is all I have to report for right now. I hope that everyone else is doing great.

Until next time

Happy Fit2014

Semi Struggles Days 3 and 4 of 30 Day Fitness Challenge

Hello Peeps,

Today is day 4 of my Fit2014 challenge if I can call it that. One of my resolutions was to workout for at least 10minutes everyday. So far I can say that I have been getting it in. Yes I know its only been 4 days and its probably way too early to blow my own horn but hey its may life and my post I can be happy if I wanna...lol :P 

With that being said I have been struggling with eating. I do not eat enough especially since school has reopened. I miss breakfast and lunch and I usually eat when I go home at 4pm and I do not eat again until 4pm the next day. The truth is that I am not hungry before 4pm and by the time I am hungry again in the after it is around 10pm (if I am still awake) and I do not eat after 6pm. I know that I am going to have to make some effort to prepare breakfast and lunch in the mornings but for now it is what it is. Before my funds are non existing right now meaning that I am broke I cannot buy things that I can snack on because I have to wait until I get paid at the end of the month. (High five for the persons living pay check to pay check) 

If my eating continues as such I do not expect to lose a great deal of weight this month. I know how my body works, whenever I skip meals while working out I usually maintain my weight or I gain a little bit. Regardless of what the scale says in February I am not going to let that discourage me. I am losing weight because I have a heap load of clothes in my closet that I cannot wear because I have gained too much weight and I want to wear them again. I can be so vain sometimes...lol

Workouts

Day 3  Focus T25 Cardio (25mins)

Day 4: Jillian Michaels Workout 1 (30mins) and  Focus T25 Speed 1.0 (25 mins)

I am out of shape...

Well damn Sam....

Hello Everyone,

As promised I will be showing you current pictures of myself taken on the 4th of January 2014. Its strange how when I look in the mirror and I look at pictures of myself they don't look the same. I find that when I look in the mirror I don't think I look as bad as I do in pictures. Seeing pictures of myself yesterday really made me feel self cautious of my looks. All that being said it is what it is, I am going to use that negative to help motivate myself to changing my body into a lean mean fitting machine. 

Workout updates. 

Yesterday was the official start of my get fit journey. I decided that I would try to complete Jillian Michaels Body Revolution (<--link to official website) for the month of January. I have had the program for a while but I have never made it past week 2. I get bored of Jillian Michaels really quickly. Regardless I decided to give it another chance because I like that it involves circuit training and weight training and that is something that I have rarely done in the past. In addition I chose this workout plan because its 30minutes. I will not be doing the cardio workouts that come with the program I will substitute it for some other cardio workout depending on my mood.  Like I said I get bored of Jillian really easy and I would rather get my cardio from a different trainer.

Day 1 of 30

JM Body Revolution workout 1: 30mins: I completed the workout, but every part of my body was sore within the first 10minutes. Let me tell you I really wanted to quit. To get through I kept reminding myself of why I am doing this and what I want to accomplish. I am working out but I really don't want to do it at all. It is tough for me to do something against my will and its frustrating because I do want to lose the weight but its a mental struggle. I hate that I have to fight myself to do something that benefits me.

Day 2 of 30

JM Body Revolution Workout 2: 30mins. The workout went the same as day 1 I did not want to do it at all. But I pushed through and I am happy that I did it. I am so unmotivated right now and I think that this is where setting goals are important because it gives me that extra push even though the motivation is lacking. I am praying that it gets better with time. I am sure it will but either way I will be working out everyday for I am just going to have to get used to it. 

Stats: Taken January 5th 2014 Next Update February 4th 2014

Waist (belly button area) 39.5 inches  I have a beer belly and I don't even drink beer like wtf?

boobs (fullest area) 44.5

right arm: 14.5

left arm 15

thighs 27inch (both)

butt 43inches (roundest part) (I have a flat ish booty squats will take care of that though.)

I still have to post the picture of me in the jeans that I want to try to fit into by my next official stats update. If I don't do it today it will be tomorrow.

Until Next time thanks for reading and for your support :D
Happy fit 2014

Goals for 2014

How do you do????

I have contemplated what my goal/resolutions would be this year. I am tired of adding lose weight on my list. It truly makes me want to do things that I can't mention on here because it would only cause you to think that I am as crazy as I really am...lol Well in other words I will be revealing how crazy I am. Anyways, its another year and yes losing weight did make the list again but I am going to word it differently. Another thing that I am doing differently is to make monthly resolutions rather than a list that I will stick( or not) to for the whole year. So here goes these are my goals for January 2014.

1. Get fit: I will be working out Everyday for at least 10minutes a day. I can do 10 minutes a day. I could have said 20minutes but I know that I can talk myself out of finishing a 20minute workout but 10 minutes! I can do 10minutes! Even when I dont feel like working out I can do it for 10mins.

2. Blog at least once a week. In my weekly blogs I will post about how I am doing that week. What I did or am planning to do in terms of working out and eating and yeah all the works. I will aim to blog more frequently of course but at the very least I will blog once a week.

3. Drink only water. For the month of January I will not be drinking away my calories. I had more than my fair share of  sugary drinks during my Christmas holiday anyways.

4. Write down everything that I eat. Self explanatory in February I will think about planning some kind of portion control or calorie counting type scheme thingy (<---- ?!?! yea that)

Every Friday I will report on how I did in terms of sticking to my goals.

So yea that is basically my goals for January. What are your goals? Leave a link to your post or tell me in the comment box. Good luck! If 2013 was a crappy year hopefully 2014 will make up for it. I will be posting my stats and picture in tomorrow's post. I am not weighing myself until February 3rd. I do not want to sabotage my journey and discourage myself before I begin.  But I will make a current picture and take measurements to help me track my progress. I also have a personal challenge that I will be posting about tomorrow as well called "In Those Jeans". Basically, I will be trying to fit into an old pair of jeans that I have.

Until next time! Happy New Year and have a blessed weekend!

Happy New Year?

 Happy New Year

Its been way too long since I have been on here. Where did the time go? I have been meaning to come back on here for so long but honestly I could not bring myself to log on. Every day I would put it off and say tomorrow and tomorrow turned into days, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and you know the rest. I suffer from anxiety (undiagnosed but I know my body( shout out to Olivia from the Cosby Show)) and the blog had become a source of anxiety for me, I couldn't face my failures on here. Strange now that I am looking back on it I wish I hadn't stayed away for so long but that's now split milk and today is a brand new day.

But I am back and if anyone is still there to read my ramblings then I appreciate it and I am sorry that I left without a word.( I promise that I won't do it again.)

Updates: A lot has happened since I have been gone. I am still married June will make 3 years. If you remember my husband is from Holland and I am Bahamian and we lived apart for our entire 5 year relationship (prior to marriage) and then once we got married he moved to be with me. We used to live in Nassau (capital) but now we live in Andros (largest Bahamian island). I moved the Andros to teach Spanish in the local government high school. I still do not have any kiddos I may try for one this year though we will see. I havent weighed myself but I am certain that I regained all the weight that I lost. I am praying that I did not gain over my highest weight though that would suck. I do not weigh myself and I do not own a traditional scale I do have my wii fit but that is not plugged in.

All that leads to why I am back. I am finally ready to lose the weight, keep it off and I really missed interacting with my blog friends. I hope some of you are still there and that you remember me I missed you all :(

I will be posting my goals for this year in another post but I just wanted to say hi and explain a little bit of why I was gone. 

Again Happy New Year and Thanks for stopping by

LIfe Update.

Hey All,

Its been a while, nothing much has been going on since my last post. I have been meaning to do a small life update to let you all know what I have been up to while I have neglected blogging... Now is a good moment so here it goes... Oh I am not pregnant. Is it just me or is everyone getting pregnant this year?  Anyways...lol 

I don't think I have ever mentioned this before; I was in uni for a while, working on my teaching degree. Last year September I was placed in a local government high school to teach 7-9 graders. I will say that that was the most stressful my life has been in years, but I got over that and passed. So now I am a certified Spanish teacher. Yaaaay me. Then in December my husband moved here. We still live with my mother (boooooooo) and its been kinda stressful having him move his stuff into my room but we make it work. Now I hope you can follow cause I am going to talk about the fact that I am now a teacher again...lol 

Since graduating I have been waiting to get placed permanently in a government school (I am assuming that everyone knows what I mean by government school). However, since there are no vacancies in Nassau I will have to be relocated to another island aka family island. I am excited about this for three reasons. Reason number 1. There are extra perks that comes along with moving to a family island the main one being that they pay rent for you.  2. I will be outta my mothers house. 3 I will be away from my mother....lol So technically I only listed two reasons but number 2 was so important that I had to say it again. My post will  be confirmed within a month and in that time I will know exactly where I will be going.

I don't know if its my age (28, clock's ticking) or the fact that I am married, but my maternal desire has kicked in, I find it very strange because I didnt ever want kids and my husband is still on the fence about it but he said if I really want to them he is fine with it. With that being said, no I am still not pregnant and I am not trying yet (well you know what I mean...wink) but I do want to start trying next year June. With that being said, I am not going to try to get pregnant unless I am in a healthy weight range. Which means that I have about a year to get my body back on the right track if I want to start my family.

Water Fast Day 3

2:35pm

The temptation is increasing again. Have you noticed that I always get tempted around the same time of day? Today my mother made boiled vegetables, BBQ chicken and potato salad which is one of my favourite meals and so my desire to break the fast is immense. So much so that I have decide to eat some food at 7:00pm the official end of my day 3. I have a whole host of reasons why I want to give up. But the biggest factor is I am tired of being tempted by food. Everywhere I turn I see food. I work around pastries and because I am the only one fasting in the house I see food all the time. Last night my nephew decided to eat his Wendy's in my room and I had to resist stealing his nuggets. I have at this point come to the conclusion that this is not the right time for me to be doing this. I am grateful for the three days that I am going to complete. Now moving forward I have to come up with a plan of action.

This post is two days old. I didn't post it when I was supposed to post it. Since I wrote those words I have decided to start a new fast. This time it will be from now to until Sunday. I think I may have bitten off more than I could chew thinking that I could do a 30 day fast. I am ambitious if nothing else. However I think my fear of commitment won over my determination to finish something. In the main  time. I have to decide what exercise program I will do, and how I will eat going forward. Even as I type this I am battling myself. One part of me doesn't want to give up on something else that I planned to accomplish. But another part of me is saying that this isn't the right time for it and I am only torturing myself. When 7pm comes then I will know what voice I will choose to side with. I have to set a new set of goals for myself and work super hard to achieve it.... My next post is going to contradict some of the things I posted here but it is what it is....

Day 2 of Fasting

I hope that you get my strange sense of humour. This is an account of how my Day 2 went. At random times in the day I blog about my moodiness or how I am feeling and what I am craving. I tend to think and blog a lot about the foods that I am craving. I am sure you will notice that though.

1:24pm

The desire to eat something is really strong right now. My cousin bought a malt drink and watching her guzzle (drink) it down is giving me visions of snatching it from her and finishing it. It's funny how a defiant mind can play tricks on you. Anyways this feeling shall soon pass. Already my cravings are a lot less than what I had yesterday so I cant complain too much. My aunt cooked yellow grits and sausage today for breakfast and it smelt amazing!!!!! I swear the senses are heightened when you know you cant have something. My mood is starting to pick up so that is always a plus. 

2:12pm

Just made my husband something to eat and while I was cooking it my mind wasn't on the food. But now that he is eating it I am thinking eggs never looked so good.. lol (yes he eats eggs in the middle of the day)I was looking at some blogs and people had food on it and everything looked delicious even foods that I don't usually eat. I noticed that I have started craving watermelon today. That is a fruit that I don't usually eat but I did have watermelon last week so maybe my mind just remembers watermelon from that. I am noticing how much I think about food and it is A LOT!!!!.  

5:04pm

I have a little less than an hour left in this place and I am happy to say that my cravings had not been as bad as they were yesterday. I still think about food but the sweet stuff do not entice me much. I have been craving "real" food. For example some mashed potatoes would be really nice right now. I even craved tea and lemonade right now. I spent my in between time reading about water fasting experiences that other bloggers had. 

8:08 

The cravings are back... Yesterday I went to bed early I can only hope that I will have the same reaction tonight. 

 Status/Symptoms/Mood: 

So far I think feel pretty good. Other than the cravings and the slight moodiness I haven't noticed any of the dizziness or headaches that I have read other people talk about. When I fasted in March I felt great the entire time.  I could have easily done more than the 89 hours (there about just a few hours short of four days). I am hoping that this time around my fasting is "uneventful" but I think that would be too good to be true.

I still have a bad taste in my mouth and my tongue is starting to get a little bit painful. I did have some stomach cramps today but it only lasted a few seconds. During the night I  feel asleep on my left arm and it go numb and tingly. My first though was oh shit am I going to have a heart attack???? I was seriously scared because  I had never had that numb feeling before in my arm and I couldnt move it at all. I picked it up with my right hand and it instantly feel to the side. I did that twice and the second time it woke up my husband. When I told him about  it he said he had that several times before so that eased my worries. My left arm is still a bit tingly this morning and my legs feel sore but other than that I feel good.

Day 1 of Water Fasting

This is an account of my Day 1 of fasting. Day one was tough. Yesterday I wrote that how I felt during specific times of the day when the cravings were really bad and when I really wanted to give up.

1:00pm

I have about 6 hours to make it through my first 24 hours of the fast and I swear this ish is a lot harder than I remember it being the last time I did this. Like what the heck???? I want something to eat so badly that I am daydreaming about food. The constant smell of cake is seriously doing a number on my will power. I think I make go and look at pictures of cooked dog meat (sorry dog lovers) or something to take my mind off of eating. So to report other than the constant nagging feeling I have to eat something I am still good. 

2:45pm

I have managed to stay on track and ignore the craving. Did I say this is harder than I remember? It really doesn't help to be surrounded by cakes and ice cream and everything tempting. I leave this place at 6pm. I am still daydreaming about eating cake every time I serve a customer but so far I am resisting temptation.

Remainder of the day:

I was able to ignore the cravings and I made it through my first day of water fasting. I must say that I fought myself ALL DAY. There were times when I thought that it was pointless and I doubted my intentions and I wanted to give up. There were times when I almost did. Right now I feel like what I am doing is hellava (really) ridiculous. And for that reason alone I intended to go for 30days. (<------ I must be insane). I am committing myself to a 30 day water fast. I want to do it because I believe that I will find great spiritual growth and I think that need to prove to myself that I can finish something despite how difficult it may be. So let the count down begin.

A little more than 1 Day down  a little less than 29 more to go.

Status Update:

Mood: My mood sucks. I am not in a good mood at all. I am constantly smelling food and it makes me want food. Thankfully, Monday is a holiday here and I am off on Sunday so I will spend those two days relaxing, mediating and I will be saying a whole lot of prayers to get through these next 30 days. I feel a little less bloated. I have good levels of energy. Last night I went to bed at 8:30pm. Usually I don't go to sleep until 11pm. I am guess that because I went to bed so early I got up four times last night. I noticed that my mouth has a little extra saliva today and my teeth are sensitive. And of course I have a bad taste in my mouth. I hope my breathe don't stink...lol I am going to have to ask my husband to do breathe check.

How are you all doing today? I am wishing you great success and a wonderful day...

Sincerely Shanny

Water Fasting Day....

Bet you thought I was going to do a disappearing act again right??? Hey???? You did I know you did...lol *justforlaughs*

Oh one thing before I start my post. I didn't stop blogging because I fell off the wagon or was doing horrible. I know that is often the case. I was actually doing pretty good when I stopped blogging. I fell off because I stopped blogging. Then it was harder for me to get back into blogging because I had nothing to report on. I didn't want to come on here and talk about what I wanted to do, I wanted to come on here and talk about what I was doing.  I tried a few times to pick myself up on my own but I realize now that I needed that support that I got from you, my fellow bloggers and I just needed somewhere to vent because apparently I am an emotional eater and when things are eating at me I eat.... (<----- You probably can't tell but I am still a bit in denial about that.) Anyways I want to talk you again for sticking in there with me and for your continued support as I start this journey all over again... 

Now, How did water fasting go????

Yesterday I started off good. I was motivated, and I was sure I was going to be able to complete Day 1. I was saying no to all the food offers and temptations that came my way. I work in a bakery right now so all I have is temptations.  I had my mantra in my mind and I was chanting " I will not die if I do not eat today" I must have said that about 50 times then all of a sudden my mind betrayed me and my mantra became " I want to eat today! I will not die if I eat today..." I was like what the what??? Now usually this wouldn't be such a bad thing. I want to fast yes but I have nothing against eating, but at that point I work in a Bakery and I wanted cake... Sigh  Needless to say I gave into the temptation and now my day 1 starts today. I am more confident that I will be able to make it past Day 1 today. I hope that helps this time. Yesterday I ate at 6pm so 7pm will be the end of my first day. Wish me luck please... I will probably make another post today when temptation starts to kick in.... 

Thanks for reading, I really and truly appreciate you all and I missed you I am very happy to be back :D

Side note: recently this reporter called Nellie Day wrote this very crappy and insulting article about the types of homes Bahamians live in. It is obvious that she has never been here. I think it would be interesting for you to read it. I couldn't find the original post because it was taken down but someone else posted what she wrote because he/she responded to it and that's the link that I will post. If you are interested read it and let me know what you think. I laughed about it. 

http://www.bahamaslocal.com/newsitem/49890/A_Story_By_Nellie_Day__What_Types_of_Houses_Do_People_Live_in_the_Bahamas.html

Who Knew...

...that it would be so hard to start blogging again? I didn't have any intentions on staying away as long as I did but for some reason I couldn't get back into it again. Life got in the way and dieting and getting healthy took a backseat. I am not going to say that I am back because I have said that one too many times already. But I am going to say thanks to everyone who was concerned about me and who remembered me even in my times of absence.

My weight sucks right now. I have no idea how much I weigh (my scale is broken) but I am sure its either in the high 190s or the low 200s. I have been eating loads of junk foods lately and I haven't been exercising so its expected.

My plan moving forward.

I am going to water fast. I did a 3.5 day water fast in March and I felt really good after the fast. My body wasn't  feeling right and I didn't have a visit from TOM in about 6months but after I water fast everything worked itself out so now  I am a believer in the healing proprieties of water fasting. I have not decided how long I will water fast for I know that it will be for a minimum of 4 days and a maximum of 30 days. I would like to make it to 30 days but I think a more realistic goal for me is a max 10 days. But we shall see ...

To help me get back into blogging and get back on track with my weight loss I am going to document my experience with water fasting this time around. I do not intend to monitor my weight while fasting because I think that it was too much of a distraction the last time that I did it. I also do not intend to monitor my weight because weight loss during fasting is not accurate so whats the point? But I am saying that this will help me get back on track because I am using fasting to gain spiritual, emotional and physical healing before I go full force into working out again.

My dos and don'ts while fasting...

I drink water, I do not over drink water. One of the best things about fasting is that you are giving your body a break from having to digest food so that it can make repairs and heal itself. If I drink water excessively the only thing I will be doing is giving my kidneys more work to do. Seems a bit pointless to me. I drink when I feel like it I do not have a water limit.

I do not do enemas or flushing or anything like that. I have grown to expect a bit of constipation during fasting but that always goes away once I start eating again so I do not sweat it I let my body do what it wants to do.

I do not do strenuous exercising.

Finally before I end this post I want to say I am not an advocate for fasting. If you are against fasting or you find it pointless don't do it. If you have diabetes and you think you are interested in trying it you should consult your doctor and if you haven't done it before you should talk to your doctor first. I am fasting because I feel sluggish and I feel bloated and fasting made me feel less sluggish and a lot less bloated the last time around. I am fasting because I want to do it.

Any One Still there????

Hey Folks :D

I know its been ages since I was on here last and A LOT has happened and I have been extremely busy and for that reason I couldnt come on here. I apologize for simply vanishing without so much as a warning that I would be gone a while but I have missed you all and I have missed blogging as well... I will be back with a proper post at the end of this week I just wanted to say HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Hope everyone is doing great :D

Until next time.