Ramblings and Such

Hey Everyone!

I haven't posted in a couple of days because I have been down lately. (again) I have not been in the mood to do anything. Today has been the worse for me though. I am not sad or anything I just feel distant and I am having problems focusing. I think some of that has to do with the scale and weighing myself and not seeing the number I was hoping to see. I was sure that I would be under 200lbs yesterday. I stepped on the scale on Thursday, I was thinking it's close enough to Friday I can take a peek. Instead of seeing 200 or a number lower the scale said I was up to 203. I felt so discouraged. I felt frustrated because I am so close to finally being under 200 and I felt like after all my hard work, I was taking a major step back. I had to talk myself into seeing the bright side of things. I may not weigh what I want to weigh at the moment but I am feeling better about myself and just better in general. (the bright side)

At first looking at the bright side didn't help much. At that moment, I realized just how easy it is to want to give up. I wanted to just say screw it! To be honest, I still want to say screw it. You know why? Because it's easier to just lay in bed and avoid exercising. It's easier to eat whatever I feel like eating and not think about how that would affect my body. It's easy to pretend like I am happy the way I am. But it's hard to admit that when things don't go my way I shut down. It's harder to be accountable for my actions. I cannot be disappointed if I don't try. If I did that where would it get me? The short answer is worse off than I am now. This weigh in hurt me because I wasn't cheating, I wasn't binging over all I was doing pretty good with my eating. And I exercise EVERY DAY! But unfortunately my plumbing is backed up so I am going to blame it on that... And no matter how disappointed I get I am sticking this through. 

I think this is where setting goals and  being committed helps me to stay focused. Motivation got me started but being committed is going to keep me going. Funny thing is writing this post made me feel better...lol So yea why didn't I do this sooner?

These are some pictures I took. I don't see a difference. But after my next 30 days I probably will see a diifference. The quality of the pictures suck. I have to wear the same clothes too. But the next time I do an update I will make sure I have everything together. 

The first picture I took around December 2010. (see the Christmas belly..lol)

Second Picture was at the beginning of my 30 days

Last Picture was Monday ( I was standing different sorry!)

Don't judge me, I got caught off guard...lol