You missed me didn't you?...lol Just kidding, I think it's been a little over 2weeks since my last post. I haven't really felt like blogging lately. I had to take sometime to refocus and remember why I started my journey. I was a bit obsessed with the number (and to some extent I still am) however, this journey for me isn't specifically about getting to a number. I want to be healthy, I want to look good in my clothes, I want to love myself and that wasn't happening lately. Well the latter wasn't happening. I was at a point where I would look in the mirror and only see fat. It was as though the lower the number on the scale got, the fatter I felt. I started to see rolls of fat and my huge face and huge stomach and I forgot about everything I had accomplished over the last few months. So I took some time off from reading blogs and blogging just so I could focus on me and think positive about myself. I am still not where I should be mentally, but I am getting there. I do not want to arrive at a goal weight and still have image problems. For me it is sad when I read blogs or just see someone any where that has a really nice body but they are still finding problems, and I just want to shake that person and say: WTF is wrong with you? You are gorgeous, there isn't anything wrong with you. I do not want to be that person I want to love my body in all it's sizes. So you know where I was ish (sort of).
With all that said I want to say that I am still on track with my weight loss. Last week I was going hard with the eating. OMG! I had the bestest Chinese food ever and I normally do not eat Chinese food but I was really craving it so I got it. I had candy bars and I ate salted popcorn and chips and everything bad but I am blaming that on TOM. Even though I was eating unhealthy I still was exercising really hard like up to 3hours on some days. I did not weigh myself last week. I did weigh myself this morning and I am exactly 195.8lbs.... YAAAAAAAAY ME. So I have lost lil over 4lbs since my last post. I am very excited about that. It goes to show you can have really bad days and sometimes it helps to just go with it and then dismiss it. Don't worry about it or beat yourself up about it because that will only make you feel worse and then you binge again. ( Well that works for me anyways) No one changes over night, and the only time you fail is when you give up. Just continue to try to do better next time.
Even though I went overboard with eating last week, so far this week has been going really well. I am eating a lot of veggies and fruits and I am still on track with my exercise. I am on week five of Turbo Fire. Yeah, I am managing to keep that up. Can you believe it??? That is going well however, I am a bit tired of the program. But I think that is because I hate commitment, and the fact that I have to do the workout everyday goes against my nature. It's being in a relationship that is getting a bit too clingy. Either way I am still sticking in there. This program is not going to defeat me. I gat dis one.
My goal for the end of March is to be at 189lbs. I am seven pounds away from that goal and I have 21 days left so with faith I will get there.
This blog post was longer than I expect.. Sorry. On the 17th I will be 60days into my 90 day fitness Challenge, I will have updated pictures and measurements then. Where is the time going? I hope everyone else is having a great week. I hope to be more efficient with posting. Until Next time! Thanks for reading.