Lessons Learned: #3? Update where I have been

Hey Everyone!

I am so sorry that I haven't blogged lately, I think it has almost been 2 weeks since I last posted something. Honestly, I have no idea how long it has been because I don't keep track of days. But I have missed you all and I will be reading your blogs and catching up with everything that is going on. I feel so out of the loop. I have been really, really, really, really, really, moody lately. I am still blaming it on the new bc pills. I think the estrogen levels in that pills are too high for me because I have turned into an angry black woman, and I think you all know that stereotype. I am so angry I am snapping at the air. Like I sit in my room being pissed at the world! What the heck? Seriously, I am pissed because my walls are white and my bed sheets are green! (Green is my favourite colour by the way). On top of that my craving are out of control and TOM will be visiting this week and yeah I could complain for days but I won't. I said all that, to say I didn't blog because I didn't want to share my misery.

What has been going on besides that? I am still doing Turbo Fire. I am on week 6 or 7 (oops I can't remember I have to check my calender) I am so pleased with my progress. I have gained some weight but I am still under 200lbs but just barely. I am around 198lbs now I know some of that is water weight and some of that is from horrible snacking. I had set a goal to in the 180s by the end of this month and I won't make that but it is ok, because I am still happy with the progress that I am making. I am way more physically fit! My cardio is improving, I am gaining upper body strength! I can do push ups yall! I could not do push ups at the beginning of this year. I had no upper body strength but I do now. Granted I can only do five full push ups but it is still progress! Don't hate me cause I can do five instead of zero!...lol I will probably talk more about this in another post though. This is about lessons learned. These are things that I have learned over time... 

1. It is important to have non scale goals! I should reword that to say non scale goals should have top priority!: I say this because there are a number of things that can affect your weight. For example, meds, stress, lack of sleep, muscle formation and if you only rely on the scale you will get discouraged! You will probably want to give up when the number on the scale goes up. But if you are achieving non scale goals even when the scale does show gain you will less likely be affected by it. The only thing that is keeping me dedicated to working out is that my body is changing for the better! And my challenge is focusing on physical fitness. I am definitely improving as far as that is concerned and even when I feel fat I am still happy. 
2. Do not measure your success (or lack there of) on someone else's progress. I am assuming that we all read blogs (blonde moment?) Sometimes, we see other people making huge progress while they struggle and we may get a bit competitive (jealous?) that that person is losing weight while we are still struggling. Don't worry about the other person. Stay focused on yourself. This journey is about you and you alone. Some people are extremely lucky and they seem to go to sleep fat and wake up skinny ( I remember when I was one of those persons ;)) Different circumstances = different experiences, just do what works for you and be happy with the progress that you are making. Even if it seems like you are losing slowly.  
3. Plan workouts/food in advance: Do not just wing it. Know exactly what you want to eat for the day, write it down and stick to it. If however, you give into temptation, forgive yourself and move on! Whenever I don't plan my workouts I don't do it. Of course my workouts are planned for me already but I still have to write down what I want to achieve. 
4. Push through your workouts: Unless you are light headed. you have cramps/physical pain, your heart is beating too rapidly, or you feel like you are going to vomit, there is absolutely no reason for you to stop exercising just because you feel "tired". If you want to see progress, you have to push yourself beyond what you think is you max Now I am not saying you should kill yourself while exercising. I am just saying sometimes I get this voice in my head while I am exercising that discourages me. It says to me let's stop because it is too hot! Or it would say, I don't feel like exercising today, I am getting tired. We can do this later, DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT VOICE! That is probably the same voice that tells you to buy the chocolate bar or that tub of ice cream. If you ignore that voice you will feel 50times better once you are done with your workout than if you quit early. 
5. If you do exercise DVDs, keep track of how much time is left before you are done: If you are doing a 20min work out session and you make it to 10mins you can make it to the end. Most workout dvds leave the last 5mins for cool down so if you can make it half way you can make it to the end. This kind of ties into my previous point. This is especially if you only feel tired and only if there are no other signs of exhaustion.
6. Finally if you need to take a short break take your break and drink some water then get back into it. The important thing is that you get it done. It doesn't matter how long you take. Next time you just take a shorter break until you get to the point that you don't need breaks anymore. 

This time around my lessons learned focused on exercising because that has been my focus lately. I love to exercise. It is a struggle for me to start, but once I get into it I truly enjoy the sweating and all that comes along with it. I did Fire Ez 55 today and 30mins through I wanted to give up but I said to myself if you can do 30mins you can finish and I finished and I decided that I would write this  blog post. I am going to probably do hip hop abs or maybe Fire 45 once I finished this post or maybe both who knows? I burned 412 calories with Fire Ez 55 which is impressive because when I did it for the very first time I only burned 250 calories. Up until today my record high was 380. I think that 412 calories in 55 mins is way cool :D I have never burned that much in one workout! I am almost tempted to do that again. But I am not that crazy! That workout is a killer it is no joke...lol 

Anyways I hope everyone is doing great. I promise I will make posts more frequently. I have an update on roaccutane, I have an update on my fitness challenge. I want to do a book review (maybe) We will see what comes up!

Thanks for reading!

Update pictures Day 60 of 90days to better fitness.

I added  pictures from when I started, my update picture at 30 days and now my 60 day picture.  While I can say that I can see changes in the way my clothes fit. I still cannot see much changes in the pictures. The one in the pink is my most recent picture. I really don't know what is up with my mugshot stance either...lol 

I took one in the mirror as well and it's below Sorry about the spots I have to clean the mirror.

I will post my measurements in a separate post I have to find the measuring tape. 

Hey Everyone :D Week in Review? Rant about new Bc Pills.

First off I would like to welcome all my new followers and readers :D I appreciate your support.

This week has been an extremely rough week for me. I may have mentioned this in my Roaccutane post, I do not remember but I started new birth control pills called Diane 35 and those pills have caused me to be on an eating frenzy. I have been battling constant cravings and hunger since Monday. Even now I am sitting here thinking about food and I just ate! At first I was thinking maybe it's because last week I ate mostly  raw during the week. So maybe my body is just craving the things that I didn't eat last week, but then my other mind told me to read some reviews on the new pills. I read about 50+reviews and about 45 of them complained about the cravings. 

Because of the cravings I gained almost 5lbs since Monday. Monday I weighed 190.6 Today I weight 195.8! Seriously?? This is the first time I have ever gained weight while taking bc pills. The first one I tried was "Yaz" but it gave me really bad chest pains, so I had to switch pills. The one I was on for the longest was femiane and while it did make my skin look horrible, I did not gain weight while I was on it. Another thing I hate about these new pills is I think they give me headaches. I take them at night and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a slight headache. They make me moody. I am ready to snap at everyone! Really? I am a woman, I deal with moodiness without being on the pill! I don't need any extra help. My breasts are sore at hell, I have ankle pain which I haven't had since I started working out and I am all together in a crappy mood!

It has only been a week and I already feel like these pills are a no go. So I am going to get them changed. One of the pros that persons mention about these pills is that taking it gives them clear skin, I have had acne since I was 16 and while I know the importance of having clear skin in this case the cons outweighs the pros for me. 

Honestly, this week I am calling a total failure. Can I get a do over? Of course, but my do over will probably start on Monday. I know it is best to get back on the horse right after you fall off but right now I can't  be bothered. It's the weekend, I am going to work on my mood because I am still pissed for not reason! Oh ya'll don't know how much I am hating these pills. It's like pms all over again. Pray for me. I hope everyone else is having a better week. I still have to post my update pictures. I will do that sometime today. Thanks for reading I appreciate your support thanks :D

Raw Diet: My Decision and First Reactions to it

Sometimes I feel like a scratched record because I tend to repeat what I say. With that being said if you read my blog you know that health is my main motivation for getting fit. Of course, I am human and I have superficial motives as well but my main focus is my health. If you read my blog regularly you know that I focus more on exercise than I do nutrition. Most of my posts about nutrition is mainly about my efforts to include more fruits and veggies into my diet or my efforts to increase my water intake. Before my decision to eat raw, I hadn't made any drastic changes to my diet. Side note: Depending on what website you read the definition of what a raw diet is varies. To me it means eating foods that can be properly digested by the body in its natural state. Of course it is food that does not go through a cooking process. 

Honestly, I don't know what sparked my decision, I guess my week of bad eating 2 weeks ago had affected me so much so that I felt like I needed a drastic change. So, on Sunday I spoke with Sir and I told him that I was going to do a week of eating only raw foods (fruits, nuts, seeds and veggies) and Monday he reminded me of it. 

Monday morning I got up I had fruit for breakfast, and then I had salad for lunch and after that I was ready to give up. My stomach was content I was not hungry at all, but I just missed what I couldn't have. I talked to Sir again and he was really encouraging and he told me to just go through with day 1 and then if I still feel like I want to give up then I could. That day I had also eaten a heap load of nuts. Which I now know was a bad idea. The rest of the week went fairly well and I did not get as tempted to give up as I did in the beginning. 

Noted Differences/ Side Effects:

Negatives:

Constipation: Self explanatory. I drank cleansing tea one time to help with this. 

Bad tempered: I was easily irritated, especially on Thursday and Friday

Itchy Skin: My skin is itching. My blood has the tendency to get acidic sometimes especially when I eat too much fruits and nuts. Right now it is still bearable but I have a few hives/mosquito like bumps on my back and I think its from eating too much nuts and fruits last week. 

Lack of Sleep: The first three nights I did not sleep well at all. However, I have that from time to time so I can't with certainty blame it on my diet change. 

Mucous Buildup: I don't know if this is in my mind but I feel like my throat is more slippery feeling that usual. 

Positives: 

Less cravings: I have not craved sweets at all this week. I haven't craved ice cream either. But the true test will be when TOM is knocking on my door so this is too soon to judge. 

Fuller feeling for longer periods of time: I have been less hungry this week. Blame it on the fibre.

Feeling of accomplishment: Normally I give in to impulses but being able to avoid temptation and feeling good about it is cool to me. I usually regret not eating something that I really want. 

I lost about 5lbs last week: I have never lost 5lbs in a week before. I find it incredible that I was able to lose weight while I was constipated. Although I am happy about it I am not getting my hopes up because it is probably water weight. I am not only doing this solely to lose weight. In fact there are some people that gain weight eating raw. I guess though I am not one of those persons that gain weight eating raw but its only been a week. 

So far* I am still early in this type of eating and I know from experience that restricting my diet isn't always a good idea. In fact it is usually a bad idea. But I believe that I have grown enough to be able to resist temptation or at least I am believing that I have grown enough to be able to stop myself from overindulging in times when I slip up. Doing this is preparing me for how I intend to eat for the rest of my life. I am not going to ever be 100% raw. I believe that there should be a balance between eating cooked foods and eating raw foods. I believe that us humans eat way too much cooked foods and not enough raw foods. I hope to be 75% of a raw eater and 25% cooked. I think variety is what is best. To read more about this you can search google, for a more general idea you can click HERE.  That website does a good job of explaining what raw eating it and the health risks associated with it. If you have any questions feel free to ask. One more thing: I said that I eat meat and cook foods on the weekend, last weekend I ate chicken with my salad for lunch and the other two meals were completely raw. 

Finally my disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist, I am not telling you to try this. You SHOULD NOT try this without talking to your doctor especially if you have diabetes or are hypoglycemic. These are my personal experiences. Everyone reacts differently to things. 

Weekly Goals

Its been a while since I posted my goals for the week. But I want to get back into it because it keeps me accountable.

Goals

• Get through week 5 of Turbo Fire: I am supposed to be starting week 6 however I switched to a semi "raw" food diet last week and I also start Roaccutane and  I wanted to see how my body would react to the switch and to the meds (it's too soon for that I know) so I did not do turbo Fire like I should have. So I am going to redo week 5. So even though I exercised really hard from Monday to Wednesday the rest of the week was a flunk...
• Eat Raw foods only from Monday to Friday: On the weekend I plan on eating meat/fish or cheat food item. I am going to talk about my raw experience from last week in another post. But basically I eat salads, fruits and nuts (very few nuts though). I do put a little bit of salad dressing on my salad. It is regular salad dressing and I only use about a table spoon. for my entire salad. I am not a fan of salad dressing but I do like the cucumber ranch flavour from Kraft. Eventually I will switch to fat free dressing. I will go into more details as to why I decided to eat the way I do in another post. 
• Take some time to relax and enjoy life. I have no idea how I am going to do this yet but I will let you know next week! 

Sugarstacks.com

Bored as always I was searching the net and I came across this website that is quite interesting. It is called sugarstacks.com If you are like me and you read the label of a food item and you see 20grams of sugar and it doesn't really alarm you because it doesn't seem like that much sugar, go to that site and you will be amazed just how much sugar is in the foods that we eat! Check the site out if you are interested and let me know what your first impression was because mine was HOLY SHIT! :O...

Roaccutane...

Anyone suffering from severe acne knows that it is a pain in the ass. Acne became a problem for me when i turned 16. For a while I was able to control it with over the counter drugs such as clearasil and neutrogena but eventually those didn't work anymore. I had gotten frustrated and even gave up trying to do anything about it, I finally got tired of that and I decided to go to the dermatologist. 

I went to the dermatologist for the first time 4 years ago when I has a really bad skin rash. It had started on one part of my body and after a few months of ignoring that it had engulfed my entire body and it was making its way up to my face. That was when I decided to go to the doctor to get it checked out. At that time my acne was fairly under control and the rash was severe so my doctor only treated me for the rash but didn't give me anything for the acne. (I was also suffering from hyperthyroidism at that time and I had a really short fuse so I was pissed that he didn't give me anything for my acne. I wanted to vandalize his car at the very least...) So I was a bit upset that he wasn't ready to treat my acne and I promised that I would never go back to him, but I finally gave in 4 years later and went back. I could have opted to see another skin doctor but honestly he is THE BEST on the island! And his arrogance shows that he knows it. Another reason why I went to him is because drinking water and exercising has not helped my skin at all, in fact I think it made it worse. In addition I am 27! Who wants acne at 27? Not me!

This post was supposed to be about accutane right? I was just giving you a background on my acne. Like I said I decided to go back to the skin doctor and he didnt even ask me why I came he was like, The FACE! (he is gay so yea he was a bit flamboyant with it) I still have a short fuse... But I managed to keep it controlled and I said nothing to him. And he said, "Girlfriend we have to do something about your face!" I finally said that is why I am here. So he did this two second look over and he went behind his desk and started writing out prescriptions. I got new birth control pills, I got three creams and finally he said he would put me on accutane.  I am a tv addict. And I have seen the lawsuits about accutane (short description accutane(brand) in a really strong acne med and it come with numerous health risks and it is 100% risk to fetal development) and I guess he saw the concern on my face because he told me that there are some side effects of taking the drug but its usually worse for people who take it for over 2 years.  After that he asked me over and over if I was sure that I wasn't pregnant. Usually the doctor is supposed to do a pregnancy test on you before prescribing it and you are supposed to be on bc for a month before taking it. But I know I am not pregnant and I have been consistingly taking them for I think five months now plus my boyfriend lives across a big ocean so there is no chance I will get pregnant between now and the end of May. 

I will be taking my third pill today. So far everything is still good. Apparently what the drug does is that it shrinks your oil glands and and thats how it prevents acne. (in basic terms.). As I mentioned before there are a lot of possible side effects for this drug. I will not get into it but if you are interested you can click HERE and there you can read more about it.  Among the many side effects is muscle ache. And it is advised not to do vigorous exercises while taking accutane. Therefore, I may have to temporarily quit Turbo Fire.(I have already limited my workouts to just Turbo Fire) I have just started taking it so I have not had any side effects yet. I take 20mgs once a day. He only gave me three weeks worth, I have to get my liver function checked within these three weeks then I will go back to see him on the 31st which is the end of these three weeks and he will tell me how long I will have to take accutane. I know that the risks of complication on this drug increase if you are obese/overweight (which I am) so I am happy that I am on a weight loss journey and taking these pills gives me another reason to take care of my health. I weighed myself this morning out of curiosity and I am down to 190.6lbs So if everything continues as planned and if I don't gain weight on the new bc pills I should be in the 180s by next friday :D As promised I will have update pictures and measurements on Thursday. 

If you have any questions about accutane that the website doesn't answer or if you want me to do updates on this let me know. Thanks for reading I appreciate it. 

OMG How did you lost weight (insert shocked face)

Last week I went to visit my aunt and there was just total shock on her face. Her mouth literally dropped open and she looked like she was about to have a heart attack or something cause she hold her chest and said in this high pitched voice.. OMG YOU LOST WEIGHT!... So I am standing there not knowing whether I should be flattered that she noticed or annoyed that she made it out to be such a big deal. I mean it's not like I lost 100lbs or something. I honestly didn't know what to say so I just said "Yea, I guess I did lose a bit of weight" ...lol I haven't talked to any of my family members about the fact that I am losing weight. I make it into a big deal when I am writing my blog but in real life losing weight is a priority but I don't announce it to the world. I simply make the changes that I need to make and then I go on with my life.

Now she is constantly asking me what I did. And I have pretty much only been exercising. I haven't changed my diet in a drastic way.(until last week anyways) I cut back on eating junk food, I only drink water,( no juices no sodas if I want a change I drink unsweetened tea)  I limit the amount of white/wheat flour that I eat. I mostly opt for whole wheat. I still eat fast food from time to time but I only get the kids meal or kiddie burger with no fries. But my biggest change has been incorporating more exercise into my lifestyle. I really enjoy exercising for long hours. So far it has been working out well for me.

My question to you is how do you feel about people noticing that you have lost weight? Especially when you haven't reached your goal yet. Is it a boost to your confidence or do you wish they didn't notice?

Remember Me?/ Day 53 of 90 Days to Better Fitness

You missed me didn't you?...lol Just kidding, I think it's been a little over 2weeks since my last post. I haven't really felt like blogging lately. I had to take sometime to refocus and remember why I started my journey. I was a bit obsessed with the number (and to some extent I still am) however, this journey for me isn't specifically about getting to a number. I want to be healthy, I want to look good in my clothes, I want to love myself and that wasn't happening lately. Well the latter wasn't happening.  I was at a point where I would look in the mirror and only see fat.  It was as though the lower the number on the scale got, the fatter I felt. I started to see rolls of fat and my huge face and huge stomach and I forgot about everything I had accomplished over the last few months. So I took some time off from reading blogs and blogging just so I could focus on me and think positive about myself. I am still not where I should be mentally, but I am getting there. I do not want to arrive at a goal weight and still have image problems. For me it is sad when I read blogs or just see someone any where that has a really nice body but they are still finding problems, and I just want to shake that person and say: WTF is wrong with you? You are gorgeous, there isn't anything wrong with you.  I do not want to be that person I want to love my body in all it's sizes. So you know where I was ish (sort of). 

With all that said I want to say that I am still on track with my weight loss. Last week I was going hard with the eating. OMG! I had the bestest Chinese food ever and I normally do not eat Chinese food but I was really craving it so I got it. I had candy bars and I ate salted popcorn and chips and everything bad but I am blaming that on TOM. Even though I was eating unhealthy I still was exercising really hard like up to 3hours on some days. I did not weigh myself last week. I did weigh myself this morning and I am exactly 195.8lbs.... YAAAAAAAAY ME. So I have lost lil over 4lbs since my last post. I am very excited about that. It goes to show you can have really bad days and sometimes it helps to just go with it and then dismiss it. Don't worry about it or beat yourself up about it because that will only make you feel worse and then you binge again. ( Well that works for me anyways) No one changes over night, and the only time you fail is when you give up. Just continue to try to do better next time. 

Even though I went overboard with eating last week, so far this week has been going really well. I am eating a lot of veggies and fruits and I am still on track with my exercise. I am on week five of Turbo Fire. Yeah, I am managing to keep that up. Can you believe it??? That is going well  however, I am a bit tired of the program. But I think that is because I hate commitment, and the fact that I have to do the workout everyday goes against my nature. It's being in a relationship that is getting a bit too clingy. Either way I am still sticking in there. This program is not going to defeat me. I gat dis one. 

My goal for the end of March is to be at 189lbs. I am seven pounds away from that goal and I have 21 days left so with faith I will get there.

This blog post was longer than I expect.. Sorry. On the 17th I will be 60days into my 90 day fitness Challenge, I will have updated pictures and measurements then. Where is the time going? I hope everyone else is having a great week. I hope to be more efficient with posting. Until Next time! Thanks for reading.