My blogging has been scarce because I do not really have anything to blog about. My days come and they go and I try my best to lower the number on the scale. Yes I am still at the point where I am weighing myself everyday and hoping that I see a change in the number that appears in the scale. This post is going to be quite random because I just came just to post something.

I am down to 187lbs but I feel bloated today so even though technically I am thinner I do not feel thinner. I am starting to notice cellulite on my legs. I dread them so much because when I was 200+ lbs I didnt have them so I try not to look down at my legs too often. I have to do some research to see what I can do to combat them.

I have been really diligent with walking. I like walking because I do not feel as though I am exercising, i5 doesnt make me sore and I do not dread it. I am thinking about starting T25 again but whenever I start the dvd my mood goes down. I think that I will probably end up doing Body Revolution by Jillian Michaels because at least her workouts incorporate weights.  I dont want to think negatively about working out.  Until I make up my mind I will just continue walking. Oh I do jump rope in the afternoon as well.


School will be closing soon. Then summer is fast approaching and  I wont be able to walk as much because of the bugs so I will have  to figure out a home workout program asap.

Anyways I am going to cut this short. I think I have rambled long enough...lol

Hope everyone is having a great week. It is FRIDAY tomorrow . I am sooooooooooo excited because I only have two teaching periods. I love my job but the kids make me weary sometimes. If I do not post again before the weekend enjoy your weekend and have a fit week.

Current picture and week filled with temptation.

current Taken 10  May 2014

My husband is not here and so I had to took my picture in the mirror. please excuse my bed.  But this is a current picture of me. I am so proud of the hard work that I have done. In the picture I am 189lbs . I am looking forward to losing another 30lb by the end of the year. Honestly though I am trying to lose another 30lbs by august. That is when I go shopping for clothes for school.

This week I ate horribly(thanks to PMS) and because of the weather I only walked three days  out of the usual five days. I am going to make up for it next week though by going walking for 2hours next week instead of my usual 1.5hours. This weekend I want to do a couple of workout dvds maybe some Turbo fire or some t25 workouts just to do something different.

Losing weight is hard but I am not giving up this time. Regardless of how many times I stumble I intend to brush myself off , suck it up and do what I have to do. 

Beginning of 2014

Weight loss and Emotions.

I remember when I weighed 220lbs for the second time. I was devastated that I had allowed myself to regain the weight. However, I was still content with things because I allowed myself to slip into denial. I avoided the scale and I wore clothes that were comfortable or a little bigger because for some reason it made me feel not so big. Then after my 7 year old nephew asked me why I was fat something clicked in my brain that told me that it was time for a change. 

As a result I decided that I was going to try to lose weight again. I imagined how happy I would be to be under 200lbs again. Then I imagined what it would be like to be in the 190s and then the 180s. Today I weigh 189lbs and I am not at all excited about what I have accomplished. Well, that is not exactly true. I am happy that I am finally committing to losing weight again. But the joy that I excepted to feel doesn't live up to how I actually feel.Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it to have to deal with so much emotions. It seems so unavoidable. I think that everyone who goes on a weight loss journey or A lifestyle change has moments where their emotions take over and they struggle. Sometimes I feel bipolar. Because tomorrow actually be excited that summer is coming and I may get to wear a bikini...lol

Anyways, My short term goal is 175lbs. I chose 175lbs because its the lowest I got to before I started to slip up again. My ultimate goal weight has yet to be determined but I think that it will range anywhere between 130 - 150lbs. I am going to weigh 150 by the end of August. I am putting it out in the atmosphere...lol

Coworkers and Weight loss

I am a bad blogger I know! However, since I started teaching my desire to do any thinking outside of school hours has become none existent and I struggle with posting because it requires thought and focus and that I something that my darling demons angels take away from me. I hope that makes sense. 

Recently.  I was told by a co worker that I shouldn't lose any more weight. If you havent guest it already I lost some weight ....lol About 30lbs, I did it by cutting back on overeating and walking five days a week. I will post pictures in my another post. This post is about my coworker. 

On Friday I went to work and I was about to sign in and the cleaning lady (who is extremely overweight) came to me and was like please don't lose any more weight. Then she smiled and walked off.  All I could think was seriously? Yes I know that I have lost a considerable amount of weight to them but I am in no way shape or form thin or close to being too thin. I weigh 190lbs and I am 5feet 4.5 inches. I can stand to lose another 50lbs with ease. 

Why is it that persons are always trying to tell others that they have lost enough weight? I wouldn't go to her and tell her that she should start losing weight. The lady is like 300lbs easy. I wouldn't comment about her weight period. If she is happy at the weight that she is at, more power to her, I respect that. But dont tell me how much I should weigh

This has always been the part that I hated about losing weight. I always hated when someone noticed that I had lost weight and pointed it out to me. I would rather my transformation be invisible to others so I wouldnt have to listen to their comments. Having someone tell me that I lost weight annoys me just as much as someone telling me that I gained weight. When did it become ok to talk to someone about their weight. Are you my doctor? I am sorry but I had to go on that lil rant...lol 

Do you think that I am overreacting though? How do you deal with similar situations?

Talk to you in my next post hopefully it wont be months from now. ...lol