Thursday, July 21, 2011

Where am I????

Hey Folks,

The title is for myself not you I have no idea where I am in my journey. I have no idea what I want to do or what I want to accomplish as far as where I want my body to be. I have gotten so complacent with my current weight that I feel stuck and I lack ambition, desire and commitment. I have been trying since I came back from my honeymoon to develop a workout regimen but it is almost four weeks later I am still trying. Everything that I have done in the past to motivate myself isn't working. I started writing my goals on paper, I tried marking the time off on the calender , I have tried putting on my workout clothes and no matter how I try to think positively a major part of me isn't interested. So I find myself constantly putting off trying to lose weight. This is a constant battle for me right now. I have come to the conclusion that for right now I am not committed/ready to actively lose more weight right now. I keep hoping that tomorrow I would feel differently.

All that being said, I am about to switch topics right quick... I am going to Holland for four weeks and I leave next week Wednesday. I know for sure I won't be able to do any workout dvds while I am there because where my husband lives the floors are paper thin and walking echos so jumping around and doing anything that is extra noisy is a no no. However, I do intend to go for walks in the neighbourhood. So walking will be my form of exercise there. Additionally, my husband (still getting used to that word) and I plan to visit amusement parks so we will get in a lot of activities. That being said, I have a history of gaining weight when I am in Holland as much as 10lbs. I don't know if it is the weather or what but I don't realize that I have gained a considerable amount of weight until I get home to Nassau.  I remember the last time I came home from Holland, the second thought that came to my mind after damn its hot was damn I feel HUGE!. Seriously, I felt rolls and loaves in places I didn't know that they existed. I do not plan on doing that this time around.

The habits that I have had in my past visits to Holland that has caused me to gain so much weight  is attributed to my lack of exercise/activity and my constant snacking. I eat a whole lot of chips and cookies, MacDonalds and chocolate when I am there, especially since I am not a fan of bland dutch food. The plus side is I will be making my own meals so I can make food to my own taste rather than eating food made by my mother in law. I have a question though, I don't know if I should challenge myself to avoiding unhealthy snacks while I am there or if I should just limit the amount of times I snack on junk food. Let me know what you think please. 

Finally, can I get some advice on how I can get outta my rut please? I really want to get back into the swing of things. As far as my weight is concerned right now I weigh exactly 190lbs. When I came back from my honeymoon I was 188lbs. My highest weight this month was 192lbs and my lowest weight this year was 180.2lbs and my highest weight ever was around 220lbs. 


  1. How about buying a piece of clothing that you absolutely LOVE in one size too small. Hang it where you can see it daily!

  2. I totally know what you mean about Dutch food!! Bleugh!!!!!! so boring!!! LOL

    Have you tried watching any tv shows like Biggest Loser? Shows like that tend to make me want to lose weight and avoid unhealthy foods. Maybe what you do need is a challenge of some sorts, not just a challenge for yourself, but you competing with other people too? I usually spot quite a lot on other peoples blogs. Might be worth joining in or pinching their ideas lol.

  3. Hi, Shannie! I bet it is still strange to say the word 'husband'. I've been married to mine for almost 3 years and I still forget that we're married sometimes (we were together for 7 years before getting married). I'm just so happy for you :)
    I miss Holland so much. Such a beautiful place to visit. Have a wonderful time.
    As far as advice, I don't think it's anything that any one person can say. It has to feel worthwhile from within you. If you aren't feeling it, then you aren't ready to move forward with it. Maybe you need a mental break from it for a bit. I know that you mentioned you always gain weight when in Holland, but if you give yourself a free pass to put your weight loss on hold for a bit, maybe it would be easier for you to just keep at a steady weight. In other words, don't work on losing; just work on maintaining. Maybe that will take just enough of the pressure off so that you can refocus and come back feeling ready to tackle it once again.

  4. Hey Everyone! Thanks for all the advice:D Everything sounds really helpful. @Hyla I think I will go shopping this weekend/Thursday to see what I can find. @Tim the biggest loser But I understand what you mean those types of shows inspires me too:D @Ellen: I agree with everything that you said, I am not going to stress about it, I do pretty good at maintaining I find it quite easy actually, so that is my main goal for this trip to not weigh more than what I was when I came.